


Goner

by Arowen12



Series: The Family Business (Saving People, Hunting Things) [2]
Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Supernatural, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: ? - Freeform, Demonic Possession, Depression, Gen, Imaginary Friends, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, this is dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:09:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22036840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arowen12/pseuds/Arowen12
Summary: “Ah well you see that’s the tricky part I kind of need your body, see I’m planning this big family reunion but its hard when you don’t have a body you know?”Tyler didn’t know. But he considered the offer carefully, he wasn’t going to need his body anyways, but his family wouldn’t have one to bury he would just be missing and he couldn’t do that to them. But the shadow also made it sound like it would finally be quiet.The shadow must have noticed his hesitation because it grinned all teeth and added, “Just to sweeten the deal I’ll make sure you see your friend Josh again.”
Series: The Family Business (Saving People, Hunting Things) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1517192
Kudos: 2





	Goner

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I’m here with another quick interlude before the next part. This one is really short and mostly is just a bit of a teaser/set up for the next part. Bit of a warning that this does get kind of dark, and includes suicidal thoughts so if that is a trigger please be cautious. This takes place roughly in Blurryface era so make of that what you will. Also, I’m only a little bit sorry. Read on and enjoy!

X

Though I'm weak and beaten down

I'll slip away into the sound

The ghost of you is close to me

I'm inside out, you're underneath

X

It was dark. Everything was dark, the curtains let only the thinnest sliver of light through and even that was grey. Tyler didn’t know what time it was, not the evening, but not yet the dawn, some weird waking twilight zone. His hands were like living shadows were the light couldn’t touch them and Tyler couldn’t stop staring at the space where he knew they should be. He hadn’t moved since dinner, just the bed beneath him and the lengthening shadows distorting the once familiar shapes of his room. He was breathing, or at least he felt the breath passing over his lips but the motion felt vacant, empty. He felt empty.

Tyler glanced around the room, all of this he would be leaving behind, the cheap basketball trophies, his ukulele in the corner, his clothing, posters, and photos, unfinished homework and half-written lyrics; all of it. He wondered if his room would stay the same after, an untouched relic, a museum to someone who couldn’t even make it out of the system. Or it would it all be shipped off to the local church as fast as possible because it isn’t what he would have wanted (or maybe it was, what did he want) but it would be what God would want, right?

But what did it matter what God wanted? Tyler was certain that if there was a God, they wouldn’t have created him only to suffer. That was just too fucked up. But he was fucked up. What happened to limitless love, or just the whole forgiveness aspect in general?

It didn’t matter in the end, what would happen to his stuff, none of it would matter because he’d be gone.

Tyler was a coward. A cold-blooded coward he knew it like he knew that it needed to be over. He couldn’t go out with a gun, a shaky hand and then it might not be over in the right kind of way, couldn’t handle a knife because the sight of blood still made him dizzy, made him think of that night, Josh and blood so much it was everyw-

The ceiling wasn’t high enough to hang himself and where would he get the rope? He had seen it in movies when they twisted their bed sheets into something like a rope but Tyler loved the cheap SpongeBob bed sheets and he was making excuses again.

Killing yourself was surprisingly hard.

Thinking about it wasn’t. He couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it, like it was a bad addiction he couldn’t shake. One he hid from his family, spent money and time just to satisfy that craving. Or maybe it wasn’t like that at all.

All Tyler knew is that he wanted it to be over. God, he wanted it to end.

Nothing meant anything anymore. Not with Josh gone, because Josh had been the tether tying Tyler to the cliff and it was snapped and Tyler was freefalling too fast with no wings and the words inside him were trying to crawl out of him but were stifled by his own tongue.

And it all became a cacophony.

Why was he even here? He felt worthless, a waste of space, less then nothing, the emptiness beyond zero. It didn’t how many times he told himself it wasn’t true, or read emotional speeches about life fucking meaning something. He knew. But he also knew it wasn’t going to get better, not for him, nothing was going to change, not anymore. He was trapped and God this was the only way out and Tyler was scared.

It was a one-way ticket to Hell and he was fucking terrified because it meant he wouldn’t see Josh again, he had definitely gone somewhere nice, but that was already a forgone conclusion when Josh was gone. It was pointless it was all so pointless, he was just occupying space, wasting oxygen in a world that didn’t need that. That was already screwed and he couldn’t do anything, couldn’t help anyone, couldn’t help Josh.

But Josh wasn’t real.

He was real.

They kept saying he wasn’t and it was a mantra looping through his head on repeat defiling this weird fort he’d built to keep everyone else out like a lost child. The words were a wrecking ball and they couldn’t be true. Josh was real, he had to be. How could Tyler imagine someone so real? That quirk of his smile, that shade of brown of his eyes, the way his fingers were always tapping a rhythm. He had to be real. He had to be!

Weren’t imaginary friends only supposed to disappear when the kid was ready anyways? Tyler wasn’t ready, unless he was supposed to be ready for death? 

Josh had wanted him to live though, had died for him. Tyler had seen it.

But he couldn’t. It was too much and not enough, he felt haunted by every choice wondering if he had picked the right path, all the wrong ones jarring like off-key notes out of the blue all of it telling him to just _give up_.

He was ready to.

Tyler glanced around the room again, it was darker and he felt swallowed whole, like he was being digested by the universe, swimming in the acid wash of stars. His body felt so heavy and he forced himself to blink dry eyes as he wobbled to his feet.

He could do this. He just couldn’t think about the after.

About his mom coming to wake him and finding him-

Or his dad checking on him in the middle of the night like he sometimes did even though they weren’t kids anymore and oh God finding his son’s-

Or his brother.

Tyler sucked in a harsh almost a sob breath and leaned against the wall in the hallway, right beside those stupid family portraits his mom liked. He pressed his forehead to the cold drywall and breathed ragged breaths until his face felt damp and his eyes burned. God.

He couldn’t. But he couldn’t keep living, not like this, not anymore, not without Josh.

Tyler pushed off the wall and stumbled into the bathroom, the tile was a pale white and Tyler felt it burning itself into his eyes and into his skin, like he was being turned to marble, a stature in the eaves of the church staring down with blank eyes.

His fingers were shaky as he fidgeted with the lock on the medicine cabinet. How many times had he stared at this lock, caught glimpses between arms and half-closed doors? How many times had he opened the cabinet at night and stared at the little orange bottles and tried to psych himself up?

The latch popped open and the mirror swung out without a sound, everything felt soundless, swallowed up. Tyler picked aside the advil and grabbed the pill bottle with little red pills, these were the ones the doctor had said not to take with alcohol or in a high dosage. Tyler’s fingers closed around the bottle and he pressed the cabinet door shut with a click and walked out into the hallway.

He already felt like a ghost, drifting through his own home. Would he haunt them after? Would they see flickers of him in the corners? Would he be forced to watch as they continued to live without him and all he was an obituary in the newspaper?

The door shut behind him with a click and Tyler stood there for a moment, emotions bubbling and frothing in his throat, he wanted to scream, cry, to laugh, anything but the empty numbness that was festering inside him like an infection.

He placed the pill bottle on his bed side table and stared at the orange, it looked radioactive, screaming a warning he refused to listen to as he dug around for the bottle of whiskey that had been misplaced by a relative during one event or the other.

Tyler stared at the amber liquid for a long moment before he screwed open the top.

God it all made him think of Josh. Sitting outside the pool later at night with cheap beers and a bag of greasy fast food between them and nothing better ever again.

He inhaled. He could do this. He wanted this, so why was it so hard?

“You gonna do it kid?”

A voice spoke suddenly, it was a haunting voice, neither low or high, but rhythmic like a choir, like the whisper of the wind through the trees. Tyler whipped around but there was nothing there, just the ever-darkening shadows of his room. Except…

“Ah so you can see me.”

The shadows spoke and they seemed to blink before two eyes that were somehow impossibly light and dark at the same time, were staring at him and the shadow moved closer dragging darkness with every step.

Tyler’s heart was suspended in his chest as he stared at the shadow with wide eyes, his tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth and his hands felt shaky, he felt like he was going to throw up, or maybe faint. Either would be appropriate.

“What cat got your tongue? Oh, don’t look at me like that, you humans always were terrified of the dark.”

The voice stated drifting through Tyler with a shiver like oil coating his skin. The shadow shifted suddenly and it was…

“Please don’t.”

Tyler stammered staring at what looked like Josh but wasn’t, there was something off, like a bad reproduction of a famous painting.

The shadow tilted their head down at their body and looked at it with Josh’s raised brows before it asked, “Not a fan? You humans so sensitive.”

The shadow didn’t change back and Tyler forced himself to glance at his hands feeling sick and off like he had a migraine as he asked, “What are you?”

“That is a very good question and the answer is complicated, but I have a better answer, I’ll tell you _why_ I’m here.”

“And why is that.”

Tyler asked eyes flashing towards Josh- the shadow’s face, he wanted to drink it in like water in the desert but it was only a mirage. The shadow grinned, too wide, wrong, and replied, “Why I can make it all stop, all the nasty stuff going on in your brain can just become white noise.”

He flinched back from the darkness shaped like a hand poking at his forehead and opened his mouth eyes wide as he stared at the shadow and asked, “What do you get out of it?”

“Ah well you see that’s the tricky part I kind of need your body, see I’m planning this big family reunion but its hard when you don’t have a body you know?”

Tyler didn’t know. But he considered the offer carefully, he wasn’t going to need his body anyways, but his family wouldn’t have one to bury he would just be missing and he couldn’t do that to them. But the shadow also made it sound like it would finally be quiet.

The shadow must have noticed his hesitation because it grinned all teeth and added, “Just to sweeten the deal I’ll make sure you see your friend Josh again.”

He could see Josh. It was a mantra, a new one taking the broken pieces of his fortress and reassembling them like gingerbread. Tyler inhaled and stared at the shadow wearing Josh’s face for a long moment as it all simmered to a boil inside him.

He could see Josh again. It would all be quiet; it would be over and he wouldn’t have to pull the trigger. He didn’t have to fight anymore. Tyler was so tired of fighting. He knew that something was off, that he should ask for more information, that he should wait. But Tyler wanted it all to be over already.

“Yes.”

X

I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath

X

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! This was pretty dark but kind of necessary to set up the next part but if any of you guys are seriously feeling suicidal, please remember your life is important, it may not seem like it at the time but sometimes you have to wait. Reviews/comments are always appreciated, I’m going to try to publish the next part probably around April. Au revoir!  
> National Suicide Helpline: 1-800-273-8255


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